A Day of Service, Family Fun and More

By Sandra Fleishman
Special to The Washington Post
Friday, December 22, 2006; WE42

On Monday, most Washington area families will be gleefully tearing into Christmas packages at home or relatives' houses and then spending hours savoring their gifts, eating treats, attending church services and enjoying one another's company.

But not everyone celebrates Christmas, and, in an area like Washington, where many religions and cultures are represented, a good number of families that don't mark the day will be turning to something else.

Christmas is considered a national holiday, closing most stores, businesses, government agencies and even the Smithsonian museums. For some, particularly Jewish families, the day off from work and school offers an opportunity for fun events and community service projects. For others, the day will seem like any other.

Zahra and Reza Rafie of Herndon, who are Muslim, expect Monday to be "just like a regular day," Zahra says. Because the couple's three children are very young, there is no pressure about presents that might come once they enter school, Zahra says. Though other Muslim family members set up a tree and exchange gifts, in keeping with the larger community, "we don't do that ourselves, although we love to visit them," she says.

"We explain to the children that although we believe in Jesus as an important prophet, we don't follow those traditions," Zahra says. As Fatima, 4, Maryam, 2 1/2 , and 5-month-old Ali-Musa get older, Zahra says, she imagines the questions and pressures to assimilate will grow stronger. But "we're trying to make a big deal about our religion," Zahra says.

Fairfax residents Salaheddine and Lamiaa Kandri also treat Christmas like a typical day, only banker Salaheddine doesn't have to work, and sixth-grader Yousra and first-grader Rayhan don't have school. Because Christmas falls on a Monday, Salaheddine says, the family will look to extend a weekend of day trips.

The children shouldn't miss the gifts, he says, since "we just celebrated Eid," an Islamic holiday in autumn that marks the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting. "Everybody gets presents then. . . . It is a day of fun and joy and happiness."

For many Jewish families, though, the tradition of not celebrating Christmas has turned into a celebration of its own -- a day to give back to community organizations or to gather for family events.

The D.C. Jewish Community Center will hold its 20th annual December 25th Community Service Day. Program Director Lavinia Balaci says she hopes to have 1,500 volunteers from all faiths for the 130-plus projects for 79 community organizations.

Many Jewish families, Balaci says, have always participated in the marathon service day, along with singles and couples looking for camaraderie on what is normally a quiet day for them. But in recent years the center has reached out to Buddhists, Muslims and Bahai followers, too, she said.

Children younger than 16 must be accompanied by an adult, and there are age restrictions for some activities, but Balaci says most projects welcome kids.

"We have all this time on our hands" on Christmas, Balaci says, and "it is our duty to go out in the world and do good things." That's the sense of the Jewish mission of tikkun olan, which means "to repair the world."

Some synagogues also sponsor events. Temple Emanuel in Kensington, for instance, will cook and serve dinner at the Bethesda House men's shelter.

The Jewish Community Center of Greater Washington in Rockville, meanwhile, will hold a Family Fun Day for members and nonmembers. The Sixth & I Historic Synagogue downtown will, too.

One of the biggest groups will likely be at B'nai Israel in Rockville, where event chairman Richard Saltzman hopes to draw 500 to a dinner and a movie. Or actually two movies, one for kids and one for adults.

Saltzman, a father of two, has taken to heart the response that Jews often give when asked what they will be doing on Christmas: "They always say, 'A movie and Chinese food.' What else is there to do?" he says with a laugh.

Rockville residents Mark and Judy Shulimson and their two youngsters will probably attend. "We don't have a tradition [for how not to celebrate Christmas], although we definitely go to the movies a lot," Mark says.

For some families of other faiths, though, the question is not whether to celebrate. They say they don't mark the day as a religious holiday but do follow popular secular traditions of trading gifts and having trees or lights.

Buddhist families often "will follow the Western traditions in a nonreligious way," said Mary Chan of the Chinatown Community Cultural Center.

Hindu families at Sri Siva Vishnu Temple in Lanham agreed that it's hard to ignore Christmas once children reach school age. "For the kids, we do give presents, because at school they ask, 'What did Santa give you?' " says Thaila Ramanathan, mother of Lanham fifth-grader Akhila Ramanathan.

Thaila and husband Nanda sometimes go to the temple on Dec. 25 to prepare for the Dec. 26 festival for the deity Ayyappa, who is special to South Indians. The temple will be open 9 to 9 on Christmas.

Families who celebrate Kwanzaa also will be preparing, said Ayo Handy-Kendi, founder and director of the African American Holiday Association. Kwanzaa starts Tuesday and requires not only that the home "be cleaned from top to bottom" but that table settings be laid out to celebrate the Nguzo Saba, the seven principles of blackness.

Some families that don't celebrate Christmas may go to movie theaters, skating rinks or bowling alleys, while others volunteer. Some options are:

D.C. JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER'S DECEMBER 25TH COMMUNITY SERVICE DAY From 6 to 6. Volunteers can sign up until Sunday at 3. 16th and Q streets NW. (Metro: Dupont Circle). 202-518-9400, Ext. 3565. http://www.washingtondcjcc.org/volunteer.